Carrot in Discworld's Liverpool
by Hamfast Gamgee
Summary: A one shot with Captain Carrot in Liverpool, an important port in the Discworld, strangely left out on any of the maps! There is a tiny touch of swearing, be warned!


Carrot in Liverpool

Captain Carrot was sitting in a small boat in Liverpool's harbour with his newly found cousin, Mr Hugo Marrow. Liverpool was quite a populous and important port on Discworld's coastline. Carrot was unused to water, but he remained cheerful . He was wearing general black water gear, Marrow green, Carrot a bald head , Marrow wavy, black hair.

"Cheese and Tomato sandwich?" Carrot offered.

Marrow sighed grumpily and refused. "I hear you are possibly the long-lost heir to the throne of Ankh. Oh, watch the steering.." The Sea became rough in the stormy weather sprinkled with morning rain. Their boat nearly capsized.

"I prefer to stick to things as they are! You are possibly the heir to the throne of Liverpool?"

"Take care, the sea is unusually rough. This is dangerous. Yes. Of one line that is! But for now we are ruled reasonably peacefully by Mayor Bob. Plus I like my job in the clacks. The minimum of social contact, good for me, I'm not good with people!"

Carrot and Marrow where identical in appearance, over 6ft and strong. A group of Dwarfs on the bank cheered and waved at Carrot. Carrot had only been in Liverpool for a week, but he had already built up a following. "This is my cousin, Marrow!" Carrot yelled. Marrow simply snarled and looked downwards in response.

"Dear oh dear, you do need to lighten up, you know."

"Whatever, I happen to take an interest in meteorological events. And the tides. You seem to as well. The Ankh-Morpork meteorological society. Who's that?"

'Me. And I am afraid that the signs are that Liverpool could well be facing a hurricane in the next few weeks. You need to be prepared. We need to find out what actions that entails.'

But bluey-green waves increased in strength and a few splashed over their boat. A rather larger vessel approached them and a woman's voice cried, "You two, I'm heading back to shore. I can only advise you to do the same. I don't think you'll survive long!" Marrow looked at her black, older face.

"Sorry. My long-term girlfriend," he whispered to Carrot. "Wonderful woman, she does a lot for me. Personally, I think she likes my arse. She's probably right, but do we have to do this ourselves? If we are the only people that know how to cope with this, we are possibly too important to loose ?" Marrow asked hopefully.

"Afraid not. How can I ask anyone else to go into danger if I don't myself," replied Carrot cheerfully. Marrow gave him a look as though to say, 'Millions of people in this Discworld and my doppleganger has to be you!' But he stayed with Carrot.

The boat moved perilously close to the storm. But both found useful things out. Don't understand that sentence. Do you mean "useful ways out" or "found out useful things"? Carrot whistled at the lightening and thunder. "Look at that! This must be a category 3 hurricane. But this is only the start. You will have to be prepared. There will be others very soon and stronger. I can tell. Prepare what shelter you can. Increase any flood defences you have. Plus if you have any people that can use unnatural powers to deflect any water, that would be good!"

Both shouted, 'Wizards!' in response. 'Nice to see them do something useful,' muttered Marrow who was desperately hanging onto the bouncing vessel.

To take his mind of things, he asked "Odd how we have both met together just in time across all the Discworld to handle this!"

"Certainly was a dangerous journey for me, but no time to go into that. But not a coincidence really, I think I was warned by the Gods. It was a dream. I dreamed I was overlooking a city covered by water and a voice in the sky cried to me, "Get your fucking arse over to Liverpool now you cunt!" Gods, eh?"

"I had a clue, too. In my case it was a crossword clue. 4 down. The gods gave me another dream. Told me I had to sleep with Lord Hugh's girlfriend. Hmmm, think I don't know a false dream when I see one? How stupid do they think I am? Whatever game they had, I wasn't playing! You're right, we are going to need to take precautions. But Bob is a reasonable man, he will listen to me, but I can imagine the reaction to his black trollish face when I give him the costs!'

"Your Mayor is a Troll?"

"Yes, but he's intelligent. It's a complex tale!"

"I used to think I was a Dwarf. Still feel that way a little!"

"Yes, I heard! I've nothing against Dwarfs, but I wouldn't like to be one. Now come on, let's get back, no point in discovering this if we drown, is there?"

It wasn't easy getting back. Just when they thought they were safe, a fifty foot wave crashed onto the boat, drenching it with water, but by some miracle, Marrow and Carrot escaped. Carrot had a last bit of advice for Marrow, "But do you have to be so uncommunicative? You should be more cheerful like me. Perhaps a career in the Police?"

"No thank you, not all that talking with other people, not me! I do go to the pub sometimes!"

"That's some interaction."

"Hmmmm." Marrow didn't say that he was the person that was in the corner in the Pub, not saying a word!

But Carrot was correct. The Mayor did take his advice and millions of lives were saved. Economic disaster and War were avoided, as relations between Liverpool and her neighbours were a little tense and this type of thing would have just started a War A good thing we met," Carrot thought, correctly to himself a month later as he looked back.

THE END


End file.
